READ ABOUT

MONEY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS:
In Good Times and Bad

A forthcoming book
By
Richard Trachtman, Ph.D.

Written for a general audience, MONEY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS is the only book of it's kind to explore the relationship between money and happiness. Using the experiences and perspective of a skilled coach, marriage counselor, psychotherapist, and divorce mediator its thesis ( set out in the first two sections called Money and You and Money and Happiness) is that, while money can not buy happiness, it can support the foundations of a happy life if understood and used wisely. Misunderstood and used poorly, money can seriously undermine happiness.
The third section of the book, Two Pillars of Life Satisfaction, makes the case that life satisfaction comes from living a life based on non-monetary /non-materialistic values, and that the two most important of these are love and meaningful work.
This book is filled with case examples taken from the author's work, interviews, scientific studies, news reports, sayings, and writings that reflect the wisdom of our culture, as well as anecdotes taken from the author's own life and that of friends and family.
And extremely important is that the book has thirteen exercises which help the reader to explore his or her own relationship to money and happiness in greater depth than merely reading a book would allow. Included as well is a comprehensive list of resources for finding further help if it is needed.
This book is being represented by Olga Vezeris, of the Whimsey Literary agency.
Her contact information is:

ovezeris@aol.com
or
whimsync@aol.com

You are cordially invited to request that your email address be added to the contact list which will be used to announce the publication date of MONEY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS. In the meantime, you will receive excerpts and other information about money, happiness, love, work, and related topics. Send your request to richardtrachtman@aol.com and write the words "ADD ME TO YOUR CONTACT LIST" in the subject line.

EXCERPTS FROM THE INTRODUCTION

"If you could be granted three magic wishes, what would you wish for?" That is a question I often ask my clients and, not surprisingly, one of the wishes they choose most often is for money.
What does surprise me is that they almost never wish for happiness. Whatever else people say they want, whether it is to find love, to be healthy, to have a bigger house, or to become wealthy, what they are really seeking is that which they believe will make them either less miserable or more happy. …………
Yet despite one of our most popular aphorisms, "money can't buy happiness," ours is one of the most materialistic cultures in history. Many of us are trapped in the belief that what we need above all is money and the things money can buy. Our culture pushes us toward materialism. More than ever we are bombarded with messages telling us that we need to buy a particular house, toothpaste, car, or beer to feel secure, to be attractive, to feel free, or to have fun. …………
We Americans have become increasingly affluent. According to Walter Wriston, the former head of Citibank, there were about 40 millionaires in the United States in the mid 19th century. How we determine the number of millionaires varies according to what we count, but a recent Internet search indicated that there are presently somewhere around 2.3 million millionaires in the U.S. One might say millionaires are now a dime a dozen.
But are we happier now than they were 50 or 150 years ago? According to a 2007 survey by the American Psychological Association "money worries cause stress for 74 per cent of Americans, and financial disagreements often top the list of divorce-causing grievances."

SAMPLE CASE STUDY

Tim and Myra were recently married and loved each other very much. But they were unhappy because they were already fighting over money. They came to see me [and] after speaking with them for a while I recognized their problem: their money personalities were in conflict.
What, exactly, is a money personality? While we all recognize that different people have different personalities, and that these affect their attitudes and behaviors, we are not used to thinking about people having money personalities. We do not tend to recognize that money and our beliefs and attitudes concerning it have a major impact on who we are, how we think and feel, and how we relate to others, to ourselves, and to the world.

Describing Money Personalities
How can we describe Tim and Myra's money personalities and the ways in which they affected their marriage? By focusing on what they say and do in regard to money.
Tim was a musician in a newly successful country music band and, for the first time in his life, was making a lot of money. But he was conservative by nature, at least in financial areas, and he wanted to invest and save for the future. He said he knew too many musicians who had made a lot of money at one point in their lives, but then spent it all and ended up living in poverty. He felt responsible for his own future as well as that of Myra and any children they might have. Because he was so concerned about saving for the future and remaining self sufficient, Myra's spending made him nervous and angry.
Myra, on the other hand, felt money was there to enjoy in the present. She felt confident the future would take care of itself. She did contribute to an IRA retirement account, but she wasn't worried about having to save. She worked and earned an income - although not so much as Tim's - and resented his efforts to control her spending. … While she thought Tim's concern about taking care of her and their future children was sweet, she was concerned that he couldn't see caretaking as a mutual endeavor. … She reminded him that she too was contributing financially to the family and would share the responsibility for mutual care taking.
He was unconvinced, especially, he said, because she was a reckless spender. She resented this accusation but did admit that, on at least two occasions, she had overextended herself and had asked to be bailed out.

History And Explanation
Description is one thing. Explanation is another. How did Tim and Myra become so different in their attitudes toward and behavior around money?
Tim grew up as the oldest child in a financially struggling single parent family. He felt responsible for helping out wherever he could and worked after school to make sure that he could afford to pay his own expenses and provide for some of the needs of his siblings. But when he went to college, the costs were greater than he could afford. He worked to pay for his room and board, but he had to ask his mother for help with tuition. He had planned to be a music major, but his mother agreed to help him only on the condition that he change to a course of study she considered more practical. He had no choice and agreed to do what his mother demanded, but he resented it and vowed he would never again allow himself to be in a position where he had to ask anyone to help him out financially. So Myra's talk of wanting to share responsibility for taking care of each other was an anathema to him.
Myra's story was a bit simpler. She grew up feeling secure in a two parent family where money was not a problem and, within reason, she could have whatever she wanted. … If she overspent on occasion, she felt free to ask for help. She did not consider herself to be out of control and was confident that, even if help was not available, she would be able to take care of herself and her family.